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A loving heart is the truest wisdom.
-Charles Dickens

chillax

BestestFriend.

On Sunday, February 08, 2009
BESTFRIEND.
Hmm. Gosh, I'm stuck. I don't want to lose her but at the same time I'm tired of being the one who cares. I know different people has different styles, interest, etc. But I was hoping your soccer was not gonna be the result of neglecting me though I've had the feeling of drifting 3 years ago. Only because we were still tight. Yeah yeah, you may say I'm sensitive or whatever. But it's only because I care. I care about our 3 years of bestfriendship and you. Dang, I don't really know what to say. To me, bestfriends are also considered like a boyfriend(No, I'm not a lesby! -_-). That is why I get angry/upset when you forget about minor little things about me, like not asking me whether I wanna buy something or go to recess even though I usually don't, and when you seem to get closer to someone else then ignores me in a way. All because I was jealous that you cared about something/one else than me. Call me selfish or foolish but that is not gonna change me. The way I am. I thought you have understood and accepted me 3 years ago. I'm a pampered girl who needs love and attention. Though not in the attention-seeker way eh. -_- Also, I don't really express my love and concern to friends. I find it hard. I don't know why. -_- But I expect them to know that and that I love them to bits, including you. It looks like you're getting closer with someone else due to the same interest. I don't mind that. If I do, I wouldnt've been suffering in silence for the past 3 years, damnit. Yes, you may say I have a lot of friends(In your opinion. Not mine) or I always have other bestfriends and to go out with. I suppose you never realise that you are always my Number One. You never share your stories with me anymore. No more updates of you. Last time, you would be excited or even tell me straight away through sms or a call about any stories you wanna tell. Like bestfriends do. However, now, it seems like I have to ask you. I have to ask you questions in order for us to have a conversation. WTF. When I realised, someone else know more about you and your updates, I get sad. When I get to know you guys have special somethings which didn't include me, not anymore when last time it was the 3 of us, I get sad. When you guys treated me like I wasn't there, I get sad. And etc. I told you 3's a crowd. I feel lonely now even when you guys are with me cos' I don't seem to be important to know anything you guys are talking about even to you. Sometimes, I was left walking/sitting alone cos' you guys are talking about something that no one bothers to tell me. None of you even notice. (Y) No more "Wanna watch a match with us?" and etc. I know I don't share the same interest with you guys but you could have at least include me in your plans. Just to make me feel that I do matter to you guys and that you miss hanging out with me cos' we lack of outings together lately. Nevermind, I'd still be left out cos' you guys will be having intense conversation with the rest. Bestfriends talk non-stop about anything under the sun but now, that seemed to change for us. WTFH happened to us? You tell me. I've never changed my feelings towards this friendship. -Nurhazimah Hamzah


God. after another problem, came another problem.
*sigh.

uurg! i'm sorry NHBH if i'm also the one who cause all this. well, actually, i don't know where to start. i don't even know if that post for me or for her. i'm truly sorry. well, i guess, from now on i will just be on my own so that both of you guys will not boycott each other. i hate it when this is happening. i'm sorry if you felt left out whenever you are in school. & i'm sorry for not knowing your feelings. i should not talked about my interest anymore. but you see, well, i don't want to start this emotional thing. but i think i just need to let is out so that i will feel much better. you said that you felt left out, sometimes i also do felt left too. i don't want to mention when. and i felt sad. not sad but i have this kind of feelings la, i don't know what feelings is that, whenever i go to your blog or profiles, i will always be the last girl on your list. but, yah, it's fine with me. seriously, it's fine..

well, whatever it is, i want everything to be okay by this coming Monday. -Nuraisyah Rahmat


BFs, i have lots of things to say. Let's settle this conflict face to face. But before that happen, i want to let you girls know that you should be pointing fingers at ME. Not anyone else. I'm not emoing here, but that is the fact. If you think back, you'll definately blame it on me. That's okay for me. But with one condition, we girls end up being close/closer than before. I LOVE YOU GIRLS LIKE I LOVE MY FAMILY. So please. I really really REALLY hope that we would settle this thing fast, with a very happy ending.

-edited, 190309-
Now, i heard that you're blaming everythings on me. Like i have said, i am fine. But, where did the condition goes to? Dustbin eh? Haha. I'm disappointed. I know you are more disappointed, but you should just tell me right in the face. Eventhough i'll cry on that moment. *sigh* It's okay. We're broken apart bcs of me. :) Redha aje. Thank you very much for being my best bestfriend. I'll still love you babe. Takecare ^^

Yours Truly,
Zulaiha.